Glad You Called 3: A Walk in the Park
Being busy is an interesting concept which has been occupying my mind lately. Nowadays, everybody is so busy. Whether they are working, studying, or running errands, I hear the words “I am super busy” at least once a day, from myself included…
Don’t get me wrong, I trust that young people nowadays are indeed busier than perhaps our parents or grandparents were. We are the generation of multitaskers, filling up CVs with activities, following our passions but also keeping our career plans in check. And as we grow older and responsibilities pile up, we progressively feel busier than ever.
Eventually, people can lose themselves in their busy-ness: as schoolwork becomes overwhelming, as the errand list gets longer, as the tasks at work turn countless. What we cannot allow ourselves to do though, is to let “busy” take over our lives. Being lost for a while is okay, perhaps it can even be healthy and refreshing when you are found again. But if “busy” takes over completely, this is when we lose our connection to people.
Whether we see someone in person every day or we keep in touch with friends over the phone, conversations are the glue that keeps people together. When people are rushing from one place to the other, when they are pressed by time, when they are truly busy, then proper conversation disappears. Calling on the phone becomes impossible because of your own time constraints and those of the other person. Even our daily interactions become “hey, how are you?” exchanges with no real substance or value.
The hey-how-are-you attitude has become generally accepted as a means of communication, especially when people start feeling “busy” all the time. The constant pressure we put on ourselves turns communication into a mundane activity, which is required and not embraced. Here I also find myself: walking rapidly down the corridors of my university, being friendly but also busy and all, you know… Oh, and of course, I am exchanging some hey’s and how are you’s along the way.
It all seems quite alright. But damn, our conversations are so superficial nowadays. Think about the last time you talked with someone, one-on-one for more than a coffee’s time? When was the last time a dialogue truly engaged you? When did you start a conversation and you simply could not finish it? When did you have a talk that completely blew your mind? Think hard.
This is the type of communication that moves us, humans. It lifts our spirits and carries us through the tough times. I say the best kind of communication is the one you have when you go on a walk in the park — a real conversation. You are free of your worries, you are relaxed. You get to the bottom of thoughts and feelings. You can really ask someone “how are you?” and you mean it. And then they can properly answer and say what is actually going on with them.
It is a conversation where there is a follow-up to the “how are you?” because you care about the person in front of you. It is a talk in which you can both be yourselves. The walk-in-the-park is not a superficial discussion or a simple exchange of words. Instead, it is meaningful — it awakens curiosity, provoking both mind and heart, and leaves a lasting impression.
So, go back to the last real conversation you remember. Where was it? Who was it with? How did it make you feel? How did it help you? Try to have more of those interactions. I know it is difficult and that we get caught up in the mundane stuff, we can’t help it. But try to take the time, especially with the people you want to know more about, and those you care about.
The walk-in-the-park conversation is a beautiful occasion although it does not happen all too often. Maybe this is where its charm is and why it is so special, and why we miss it so much when it does not come around. Because when we have real conversations, it provokes a special feeling, one that cannot be put into words but I am sure we can all recognize.
Here’s to more real conversations, and more walks in the park.
P.S. Glad You Called
